How, you may wonder, can we best teach kids that evolution is a hoax when so much evidence seems to support it? The answer, it turns out, lies in Scotland. At the bottom of a lake.
According to textbooks to be used by a voucher-supported private school in Louisiana, the scientifically proven existence of the Loch Ness Monster neatly debunks that whole evolution thing.
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The Principal at Eternity Christian Academy, Marie Carrier, explained, "We try to stay away from those things that might confuse our children." Mission accomplished!
Speaking of confusion, a new study in Pediatrics that followed over 500 children aged 3-15 months with food allergies found that over 80% experienced an allergic reaction over the course of 1 year. And, over half reported more than one event during that time.
The children were given the offending food nearly 50% of the time by a parent, which, okay, is not that shocking because avoiding eggs, milk, and peanuts in prepared foods is like avoiding deodorant commercials during the NBA playoffs.
My favorite nugget buried in this study though is that 11% of the exposures were not accidental. Look, I sometimes threaten my kids with grievous bodily harm, but I almost never mean it.
Researchers suggested that some parents may not believe their children's food allergies are real, or they want to see if their children have outgrown them. I get it, because if children can outgrow a pair of expensive brand-name sneakers every week, couldn't they outgrow their food allergies?
The second shocker in this study was that fewer than 30% of severe allergic reactions were treated appropriately with epinephrine. I think rather than showing informational movies in our waiting rooms, we should instead just loop the first season of Desperate Housewives.
Parents are likely to be even more confused by new studies finding that the key ingredients in many antibacterial soaps, toothpastes, and mouthwashes - triclosan and parabens - may double a child's risk for developing allergies to foods and airborne antigens (J. Allergy Clin. Immunol. 2012 Jun 14. [epub ahead of print]).
In frustration I'm tempted to let my children clean themselves as they would prefer to: dust baths.
In the same week, a report published online by HealthDay noted that America's childhood obesity epidemic may be tied to a class of chemicals found in plastic products, phthalates. In addition to disrupting normal endocrine functions like those that regulate weight, phthalates also cause anyone who attempts to pronounce them sound exactly like Daffy Duck.
Does your teenager argue with you so effectively it leaves you sounding like Daffy Duck even when you aren’t talking about plastic manufacturing? Once you calm down, you can take some satisfaction in knowing she is less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol.
A team of psychologists at the University of Virginia videotaped young teens talking about arguments they had with their mothers, and when they checked back 3 years later, the teens who stood their ground were more successful at not following their friends' stupider suggestions (Child Dev. 2012;83:337-50).
As a parent, I'm relieved. After all, good news about fighting with your teenager is almost as elusive as the Loch Ness Monster!