How might you discuss a suicidal ideation, an anxiety-provoking topic, with your patients and their parents? After a positive screen, there will be times when you decide your patient should go to an emergency department for an urgent evaluation. However, most of the time you will be able to help the family identify strategies to lower risk and improve safety and resilience, while waiting for a thorough psychiatric evaluation.
Bring in the Parents: Modeling Validation, Structure, and Optimism
If you have identified some degree of suicide risk in your patient, either with a screening instrument or in your clinical interview, ask your patient if you can bring their parents into the conversation. They may resist, and if so, find out why they are hesitant. Are they worried about causing their parents some distress? Are they concerned their parents will be surprised? Disappointed? Scared? Angry? Acknowledge how hard it can be to find a way to talk about such emotional material with parents. What is their communication like with their parents usually? Do they talk every night at dinner or rarely? Are their interactions usually lighthearted or playful? Brief? Irritable and angry? Have they talked about or managed difficult times before as a family? How did that go? Did they feel they ended up supporting an anxious or depressed single parent? Was their parent harsh and punitive? Since involving the parent is essential, if you become concerned that a conversation with the parent would truly increase the risk of suicide, perhaps because of reports of violence at home, then you may need to send your patient to the emergency department so they can be assessed in a safe setting where a clinical team can evaluate your patient while involving more (or different) members of the family.
Dr. Susan D. Swick
Most of the time, your patient will describe a situation that will simply be uncomfortable or stressful for their parent. Don’t be dismissive of their concerns. Instead, acknowledge that talking about their inner life will feel hard. Validate that their parents will be sad, worried, and stressed to hear about what they are feeling. Then offer that parents always prefer to know what is happening with their child so they can help, even if that means only being present to bear it alongside them. You can remind them that you will be there, too, to reassure their parents that this is a common problem and that you can face it and help it to get better together. Find out if they would like you to take the lead in speaking about it, but do not let them wait in the waiting room. Discussing the topic with you with both parents and patient in the room will help even those families that are not great communicators to begin to be more connected, even if you do most of the talking. While you need to bring their symptoms and suicidality to their parents’ attention, find out if there are any details they would rather not share. Perhaps they are struggling with questions of gender identity or sexual orientation, or are thinking of giving up an activity their parents may be very invested in. While any future treatment will prioritize honest communication within the family, communication about their emerging identity should not be rushed, and especially not in the setting of concerns about suicide risk.
With the information you do gather, there are often steps you can take to lower the stress level. The parents’ awareness of their suffering, perhaps acknowledging a broken heart, excessive academic pressure, or a major disappointment may suggest steps to lower the stress level. A mental health referral might introduce a sense of hope. A reminder of their meaningful connection to a parent, a team, a religion, or an activity may also remind the adolescent of a positive view of their future.