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Adopted Children Can Feel Loss and Disenfranchised Grief


 

Bibliotherapy involves a parent reading to or with a child an existing piece of literature that opens communication with the child about adoption issues. "Bibliotherapy is effective because you don’t talk directly about adoption but metaphorically," he said. "It is a basis to probe feelings and trigger communication." It is usually most appropriate for children at an age when they are still being read to, usually age 12 or younger.

Therapeutic rituals can be effective for a child of any age if rituals are part of a family’s life. A ritual could involve candle lighting, or planting and cultivating a memorial garden. A ritual can focus on grief or letting go of birth parents, or it can focus on the child’s tie to her adoptive family.

For older children as well as adults, written role play can help open communication. The therapist can encourage the child to write a letter to his birth mother, which can be followed by the child’s composing his reply to the letter by imagining how his birth mother might respond. This can develop into a series of letters back and forth that the patient composes. This approach could also help an adoptee prepare for meeting his birth mother. Writing letters to and from the birth mother before an actual meeting may help the patient externalize his hopes, fantasies, and fears, Dr. Brodzinsky said.

Dr. Brodzinsky said that he had no disclosures.

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