Encourage bibliotherapy and marriage therapy. The conversation might go something like this:
“I would recommend you do some reading about infidelity. If you are interested in working on your marriage, you might want to consider a couples counselor who can help you. Research shows that while such counseling can help couples work through infidelity, disclosure needs to occur as part of that process. Research also indicates that about two-thirds of marriages stay together after the revelation of an affair and that such couples can experience healing if they commit to a therapeutic process. If you are unsure how you want to proceed, it might be helpful for you to explore your situation with an individual therapist. What would you like to do next?”
There are also written resources that the patient might find helpful; see “3 bibliotherapy resources for infidelity” for recommendations.
SIDEBAR
3 bibliotherapy resources for infidelity
Not ‘Just Friends’: Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal (Shirley Glass)
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Betrayed You (Janice Abrams-Spring)
How Can I Forgive You: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To (Janice Abrams-Spring)
Referral to an individual or marriage counselor is warranted if the patient wants to work through the issues alone or with their partner. Disclosure of infidelity may not always be necessary for successful reconciliation if the affair has ended. A marriage therapist to whom you refer needs to be competent in working with infidelity.
Our patient. At the completion of the initial consultation—and after a discussion focused on the issues described, including encouragement to seek counseling—the FP acceded to the patient’s request for sexual performance-enhancing medication.
Continue to: The patient returned a few months...