Successfully getting children back to school will require a behavior plan that is agreed upon by the parents and the school, and then used consistently. This plan will simply detail strategies to “demagnetize” the home and “remagnetize” the school. Such strategies might include ensuring that children are not allowed “screen time” when home from school, and that their homework expectations continue. It should support healthy routines, including a regular sleep schedule and exercise. It should facilitate their being able to gradually manage any anxiety associated with school (shorter days initially, the option to have time-outs in a favorite part of the school or with a favorite teacher). A behavior plan should detail strategies for the child to manage stress (relaxation strategies, connecting with supportive individuals, even singing a favorite song). This plan can detail reasonable accommodations for a medical or psychiatric condition and appropriate rewards for regular attendance, such as being able to go on a class trip.
Through all of this, the pediatrician is in a uniquely authoritative position to provide support and reassurance to parents of a school refusing child. The pediatrician has a unique ability to clarify for parents the seriousness of the behavioral problem, even if there is no medical problem. Compassionately acknowledging how much a child is suffering (and the parents, as well) is powerful. Remind parents that accommodating anxiety only shows a child you don’t think they can master it, and often keeps them from trying. Express confidence that this is a relatively common and treatable phenomenon. If a pediatrician’s and parents’ efforts do not work quickly, in a matter of a few days, urgent referral to a mental health consultant is indicated, as falling behind in school and any acceptance of staying home makes return to school more difficult every day.
Dr. Swick is an attending psychiatrist in the division of child psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston, and director of the Parenting at a Challenging Time (PACT) Program at the Vernon Cancer Center at Newton Wellesley Hospital, also in Boston. Dr. Jellinek is professor emeritus of psychiatry and pediatrics, Harvard Medical School, Boston.